I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
