if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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