I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Are we still banned from the library?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
