Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
