Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
