this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
