This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Randomize
