yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
