Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
