woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
