I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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