I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
