how hairy? two words: wookie tits
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
