i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
