I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
