ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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