Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize