Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
