I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
