Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
