Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize