tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I look better un-naked...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
