the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
