Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We have so much sex to catch up on
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
