I want to stick my p in your. b.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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