Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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