Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
