I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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