When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
