No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
