College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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