I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
