erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
