The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize