just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
