He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
