That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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