this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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