Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize