Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
