Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
