she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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