So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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