Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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