i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
