I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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