I want to have your abortion
...so i touched it.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
