i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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