Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
