We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize