I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
