Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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