I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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