everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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