"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize