I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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