I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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