a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
